I started this blog to a) record the milestone "a-ha" moments in my life that I can look back on when I feel start to feel lost again and b) share with others the new philosophy of living that I have realized and that has helped me TREMENDOUSLY.
As a whole chunk of my new "philosophy" is not to think about myself and my past, I do not want to go into detail about how screwed up I used to be. And especially since I am my blog's only reader...at this point in time, anyway. Maybe later I'll purge all the details. I really want to reveal my epiphany when my life gained purpose and continue to remind myself about how I can live a fulfilling life not for myself but for others. But I need to first write about what's going on now.
My immediate thought right now is to STOP HARBORING HATE AND BITTERNESS. Case in point: I was livid at some people who seemed to have lost a care package from my mother. I was mad that said people were too lazy to look for my package, I was mad at the people who may have stolen it. The only way I felt I could reduce the anger was to come to terms that everything in the package was pretty much replaceable. ("Don't let things control your feelings, " as my mom would say.) Just as I was really beginning to let go, my old boss emailed me notifying me my package has been found and is on its way back home to me! Gone now is my hatred, anger, and resentment. And I'm not saying that only when things turn out can you truly "let it go". I just realized that it wasn't worth it for me to be angry. I'm so happy my package finally turned up just when I had finally accepted it was lost, but I was so satisfied at that moment of acceptance. The weight on my shoulders was self-inflicted. It wasn't the stupid mail workers that were keeping me angry; it was me. So, let go.
Just had to write that while it was on my mind. More to come. Especially a proper introduction.
